Sunday, May 06, 2012 | 1:02 AM
Never let your emotions carry you away. Remember your goals, your dream and make it real.


Exam period is round the corner, with assignments on hand. I believe I can finish it before the dateline but i'm more concern about my exam. First paper will be on the 25th and ends on the 6th. 

Next wed will be the SingSoc AGM. I was devastated when Bixue first started counting all the votes. To be honest, I hate the feeling of losing since sec sch. The walk home indeed was a good reflection moment for me. Even knowing that I might lose, I might not be the president, I will give my 100% for this battle. Just right before I made my decision upon going for it, you texted me & give me the support. To anyone, everyone, it may seems nothing but it means a lot to me. I can't give up just like that. The battle hasn't end. I'm not fighting for myself, but actually fighting for people who support me to go for it. And the more I shouldn't let them down. This election is more like popularity contest. You will never know who will win even until the very last second. But I'm ready to fight. Because i'm Bon and Bon don't give up easily. Whatever happens, it doesn't really matters that much. I think I got what I wanted. What about you all?

Of course, from this battle, I realized a lot of things. And i'm contented for that. I came to Newcastle like emo shit who don't feel love at all. I gonna leave this place in a different way, I promise! 
Saturday, April 14, 2012 | 7:16 PM
I'm finally back from my holidays which also mean school is rolling in in a couple of days time. This Easter, I sincerely thank my Daddy & Mummy for the advance birthday gift. Maybe knowing the fact to celebrate my own birthday alone in a foreign country for the very first time sucks like hell, and by answering to my wishes is the best they can give me. This Easter might not be what I originally expected. But still, it was very wonderful Easter. How can I not thank those people who create such wonderful memories for my first Easter in UK.

Ever since all the things changed, I'm trying my best to stay positive. I'm trying my best to stay focus. I'm trying my best in everything I do.

I was wrong, very wrong. Until the age of 22 then I realized the huge mistake I've made for my entire life. I failed to feel the love my parents gave me. I failed to communicate to them & try all ways to carry it all alone. I failed to be a good daughter. I'm selfish that I chose to fulfill my dream instead. I hope everything is not too late...
Sunday, April 01, 2012 | 6:31 PM
Finally had a chance to talk to her even thought it's merely 20 minutes. It's really been a while since we talked, and definitely have lots more to say & to tell her. Guess I can only share with her once i'm back to give her a surprise. I've successfully fool the entire i'm coming back in July. But i've planned to travel back on my own probably on the 21st and will be back around 28th. I really wish during the period of my stay, she can spare some time for me because I need her quite badly.

While talking to her, she's coughing non-stop. I was worried because she's stubborn & i'm very sure she didn't consult doctor or take any medicine. Just like me, workaholic. Working non-stop, slogging from morning to night, forgetting about her health. Can't believe she asked me how long have I been in UK and she still dare to say is it 2 months. Omfg! I don't blame her. Knowing that I'm disappointed with her, but I don't have that heart to blame her because I was I've been too stubborn all these years and have never get a chance to express myself only until i'm able to leave for my studies. And that was the first & last time (I guess) I cried.

She's someone impt in my life. Someone who I will never stop worrying about. Someone that I respect. Someone I will miss badly wherever I go. Someone I never stop thinking about. Someone that I will tell every single thing in my life. Someone I trust. Someone I love. Someone…my xiao yi!
Saturday, March 31, 2012 | 11:42 AM
It's not a good choice, neither a bad choice. To have & know what exactly how I feel about life now in a foreign country is never easy, not to mention to face it. I'm glad I made the right choice to come here, if not I won't be able to know how weak I am, not being able to train myself to be stronger.

Maybe I should continue walking, not being too concern about others but towards my life. I've been neglecting myself, physically & mentally torturing myself throughout my life. Right now, I wish I really can change to be a better person, better daughter, better friend, better student.

Lately have been chatting with ly. Things good! Feel happy to talk to her, and definitely life seems better to be distracted by things regardless in NCL or SG.

I still rmb clearly during the trip to Copenhagen, upon waking up from a short nap, I was feeling so happy that as if I lose my memory. I recalled I dreamt of someone or probably something, but wasn't sure who he/she is or what is it. When Christie asked me who or what exactly did you think of before you sleep, I wasn't sure. But this dream definitely made me smile for quite some time. I wish I knew...I knew what is this dream all about.

Couple more months to go before heading back to SG. I'm glad my friends they all can't wait for my return. I'm glad I've plans to surprise people I love. I'm glad I can spend some time before pig leaves for BeiJing. I'm glad even these 9 months, I'm able to be even more closer to each and every single one. Of course, I'm glad my Daddy & Mummy made my trip come true, letting me fly.

Thinking about it, I will be soon back after summer. In other words, I gonna face a tough time, which I pray & hope NOT! Dear God, I won't say the best but have been a good friend over these years, not hurting, yet protecting. I know I've too many friends, some will come & go, some will eventually stay, just like long-lost friends like ly & liyun. I just hope things go smoothly if possible. I know i've been lazy, but no more excuses! I'll work harder to catch up with YOU!!!
Thursday, March 29, 2012 | 3:15 AM
I was looking forward for the trip to Copenhagen, but it turned out unexpectedly not as good as I thought. It's not about the place. It's about the person you are being with.

First day of the trip, everything seems fine. But definitely not from the second day onwards. Things changed, we'd some arguments here & there, totally changed the atmosphere for the entire trip. I tried to tolerate, tried to calm myself down, tried to let it go and it seems not easy at all. And I soon realized she's just like her. I dare not even dare to get close or talk much to her anymore. I really scare, I fear to be hurt again. The way she dress, she talk, her character is almost the same. All these pushed me to make a big step back.

Maybe in the first place, this trip meant to be a solitary trip just for me. Probably I'll be happier, enjoy definitely a lot more than I expect. I'm glad i'm back home now. I just let my mind rest at ease when I know I've tons of things to do during this Easter break. Up next, day trip to York and Amsterdam! Shall update more soon...